Reality TV
Baby Booted From Arj Barker’s Show Signs On For Next Season Of Dancing With The Stars
In entertainment news, the baby who was this week booted out of comedian Arj Barker’s Melbourne International Comedy Festival show has been signed by agent to the stars Max Markson and announced as a contestant on Channel 7’s Dancing With The Stars.
”What a great get by the network, this kid is hot and will surely tear up the dance floor,” said entertainment reporter Hugh Gossip. ”Next year’s Dancing With The Stars is shaping up as an all-time classic for Channel 7.”
”What with the baby, Ben Roberts-Smith and Bruce Lehrmann. What a truly golden age for reality television.”
When asked how a baby who can’t even walk will be able to dance on a reality show, a Channel 7 executive said: ”It’s a very clever kid, it’ll work it out.”
”Besides, that’s not our biggest problem, we need to figure out how to get Bruce to dance whilst potentially in prison.”
”Hopefully Bruce’s cell mate is nimble on his feet.”
”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and see a guy about getting some motivational powder for one of the contestants. I hope I don’t mix up the baby powder with the coke.”
Mark Williamson
@MWChatShow
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Barnaby Joyce To Appear On ‘Who Do You Think You Are’ In An Effort To Track Down His Roots
The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, is set to appear on the SBS show Who Do You Think You Are, in an effort to track down his roots.
”As you get older you tend to get a bit wistful and nostalgic for past encounters,” said the member for New England. ”You wonder what happened to your old high school crush, or that girl you met in the copy room.”
”Sure, some of them get in contact with you with paternity suits and the whatnot, but not all of them.”
When asked how many little Barnaby Joyce’s could be out there, the shadow minister for home and foreign affairs said: ”Ah, who knows, no one cares, well the media do and I guess my current squeeze probably does, but besides that.”
”Anyway, we should be more focused on the cost of living with Albo. He lied you know.”
”Last time I lied it was front page news and I lost my house.”
”Well, got to be off, I saw some good sorts down at the parliament house canteen, must go down and press the flesh so to speak.”
Mark Williamson
@MWChatShow
You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter @TheUnOz or like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theunoz.
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