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Callie Siskel’s Two Minds is neither minimalist nor maximalist, but the spareness and efficiency speak volumes—and sometimes speak in long lines, sometimes short—making an art of saying as little as possible, but crucially no less. What’s left out presses upon what remains, and what remains is both substantial and hard as stone. Here’s the beginning of “Invitation,” which begins with an invitation:
My initials curled inside the oval like three robins
crowding a tree hollow.
Millennials mill around a circle of chairs and a coffee station. They settle into seats and begin the weekly meeting of people whose friends have all moved to Los Angeles. This group is known as “We Have Yearning (for Those Who Moved to) Los Angeles” or WHYLA.
My dearest one, my sweetheart, my everything, I call to you from the far right-hand side of the browser window. Well, not the far right-hand side, a little to the left of it, near the tab for “The Only Cheese Fondue Recipe You’ll Ever Need,” which is a white box with a red E in it—if you find that, go two to the left, and I’m here. Calling to you. Waiting for you.
Don’t you know I pine for you, my darling? Don’t you know that only in the light of your gaze do I have a form, a purpose?
You’re distracted, wooed by other tabs. I understand.
A 2023 Column Contest grand-prize winner, Laurence Pevsner’s Sorry Not Sorry investigates why we’re sick of everyone apologizing all the time—and how the collapse of the public apology leaves little room for forgiveness and grace in our politics and culture.
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Late last month, Stephen Colbert made an unusual statement on The Late Show. It wasn’t quite an apology—more like sorry’s mysterious cousin.
Allium Cepa
A homeopathic remedy used to treat symptoms of the common cold and allergies. It would also work nicely as the name of a kind, older woman in a YA dystopian novel who is deathly allergic to scientifically backed medicine.
Arnica
A homeopathic remedy used to treat muscle aches. To be fair, this one kind of works. But for the love of God, take some damn Advil.
Scientist #2
A minor character in Divergent. I bet she doesn’t believe in homeopathy.
You may have heard the news that high schoolers will have to take the SATs if they plan to attend college. The temporary break from standardized tests is over.
The New York Times recently posted an interactive test featuring a few questions from the reading and writing section of the SATs. If you haven’t needed to take a standardized test for the past twenty to sixty years, you could try taking it, or you can just hit yourself over the head with a large plumber’s wrench.
From 2006 to 2016, Sarah Walker offered excellent and specific instructions for essential activities of everyday life, like bullfighting and performing tracheotomies. Thanks to her, our standards of living were improved by 100 percent. Today, to help celebrate our twenty-five (and a half) years of online existence, she returns with more valuable advice.
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First, don’t panic.
From 2006 to 2016, Sarah Walker offered excellent and specific instructions for essential activities of everyday life, like bullfighting and performing tracheotomies. Thanks to her, our standards of living were improved by 100 percent. Today, to help celebrate our twenty-five (and a half) years of online existence, she returns with more valuable advice.
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First, don’t panic.
For far too long, the streets of Gotham have been plagued by chaos. Crime never sleeps. Thugs hide in the shadows, waiting to strike like snakes. Never mind the capitalist structures that produce deep and devastating forms of poverty, forcing the desperate lower class to resort to crime in order to survive. Gotham is in danger, and it is my duty to beat the living shit out of a man robbing a convenience store to feed his starving family of five.