Office
Scientists Find That The First Work Week Of The Year Is In Fact The Longest
Scientists have released the results of a long range study that has found that the first work week of the year is in fact the longest, no matter if you start the week on a Monday or a Thursday.
”This is ground breaking research which has shattered all long-held beliefs,” said Scientist Bunson Burner. ”Previously it was thought that the last week of the working year was the longest.”
”Second only to the week before you go on leave for an overseas vacation.”
When asked what workers could do to help make the week go faster, Scientist Burner said: ”Working from home helps, I mean if you’re not that busy you can potentially sleep the week away.”
”Other tips include avoiding the office bore, especially if they’ve recently been on a cruise. Scheduling meetings with different teams to find out what they got up to over the holidays or, and this is a drastic one, actually working.”
Mark Williamson
@MWChatShow
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Office Bore Keen To Show Off Pics From Their Holiday Cruise To Noumea
Those unlucky enough to have to return to the office today have been forced to endure the painfully boring showing of holiday pictures from their colleagues.
One such office, based in Parramatta in Sydney’s West has had to suffer through office bore’, Keith from accounts’ holiday snaps from his trip to Noumea.
”Can’t he just put them up on Instagram like the rest of us?” Asked long suffering colleague Susie from shipping. ”I mean who takes a photo of every item on the ship’s buffet?”
”It’s garlic bread, Keith, garlic bread!”
When reached for comment on how he feels the office is reacting to his happy snaps, office bore Keith said: ”I think I am really helping people cure their Mondayitis.”
”A few people were so inspired looking at my 11,432 pics that I saw their eyes glaze over with happiness.”
”Such a pity that everybody plans to work at home for the rest of the week, as I was going to bring in my wife’s phone to show them her pics.”
”Oh well, they can’t work from home for ever, can they?”
Mark Williamson
@MWChatShow
You can follow The (un)Australian on twitter @TheUnOz or like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theunoz.
We’re also on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/theunoz
The (un)Australian Live At The Newsagency Recorded live, to purchase click here: