Peter Dutton’s shadow minister for home affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has issued a press release today wishing the women of Australia a happy international women’s day and reminded them that he is rooting for ’em.

”No one can ever accuse Barnaby Joyce of not having his eyes on the ladies,” said the member for New England. ”I am a big proponent of getting behind women, and am also not averse to them being on top.”

”What can I say, no matter the position I am always there, willing to press the flesh.”

When asked given his history of multiple marriages and other accusations, what he feels is the best way forward for women, the member for New England said: ”The Government needs to start doing some practical stuff to make things better for women.”

”Like removing the bonk ban, for instance.”

”How many women were left unsatisfied by the bonk ban. Think of the the women who went to bed at night alone, when they could have been snuggled up next to a Minister.”

”Anyway, must be off, keen to press the flesh with as many women as possible today.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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