National Party
Barnaby Blames Wind Farms For Canberra’s Increased Horniness
The Opposition’s shadow minister for home and foreign affairs, Barnaby Joyce, has blamed the prevalence of wind farms in the vicinity of Canberra for the territories increased level of horniness.
”Before all these windfarms, I was a happily married man and Christian Porter was still in Canberra,” said the member for New England. ”These giant erections bursting from the ground and reaching for the sky have to be stopped.”
”Look around the World, no one is horny who lives in the vicinity of a nuclear reactor.”
When asked why he was seemingly channeling Don Quixote as part of his one man war on windfarms, Mr Joyce said: ”I am sick and tired of the Government telling me what to do.”
”It was bad enough that when I was in Government that they told me I couldn’t bonk anymore.”
”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to be a guest speaker at a function for a bunch of cookers who’ve set up camp at the McDonalds down the road from the Governor Generals place.”
Mark Williamson
@MWChatShow
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Monday, 15 February 2016 - 11:17am
Always liked that Turnbull fellow. Won't hear a word said against him.
I'm choosing to take this as a sign that things are looking up; that it's no longer sufficient to be a plutocratic ideologue and class warrior to have a hand in Australian public policy.
On the other side of the house, even Shorten appears to have located his spine, and is advocating the decades-overdue sunsetting of the parasitic speculator's best friend, negative gearing. In addition to the hitherto inconceivable possibility of a soft landing to the property bubble, Australia may be catching on to the spirit of democratic renewal that has made possible the rise to prominence of people like Sanders and Corbyn (not to mention, in very different circumstances, Podemos and pre-capitulation Syriza).
Good news for everybody who hasn't thrown in their lot with the crazies. Commiserations to the former Member for Tony Abbott.