Sunrise Cash Cow To Be Replaced With The Channel 7 Drug Mule

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Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 05/04/2024 - 6:30am in

Tags 

Media, Australia, Cocaine

Beleaguered television network, Channel 7, has today announced that the beloved star of Sunrise the cash cow is to be replaced with the network’s newest star, the drug mule.

”The cash cow has been good for us, but, you know, never a bad time to freshen things up,” sniffed a Channel 7 Executive. ”The drug mule is the mascot of the future, kids will love it.”

”And you never know who’s gonna be in the costume, could be Bruce one week, Schapelle the next. Don’t suppose you’ve got cocaine Cassie’s number?”

When asked whether the network had any remorse for the sex, drugs and Lehrmann scandal, the Channel 7 Executive sniffed: ”Let he who has not paid for an interview with hookers and blow cast the first stone.”

”Media has for centuries provided a bit of quid pro quo.”

”You think Jesus, didn’t get a basket or two of loaves and fishes in exchange for a sneak peak of the sermon on the mount?”

”Anyway, enough chit chat, I’ve got sources to source and hookers to book.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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