Mulch Dropped On NSW State Forests To Prevent Bushfires    

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Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Mon, 19/02/2024 - 6:28am in

Tags 

state, Fire, Government, Labor, schools

In a bid to fireproof the state for the remainder of summer Chris Minns has spread half a billion tonnes of mulch over the state’s bushland.

“We’ve been sending out Elvis the water sucking helicopter to hoover up all that asbestos rich mulch from Sydney’s parks and playgrounds and dump it over the state,” said the NSW Premier. “We now have the least flammable National Parks in history. We’ve demoted the fire danger from “Catastrophic” down to “Go Charging Through The Wollemi With A Flame Thrower Like A Hooligan And Stuff All Will Happen, We Dare You”.

The newfound use for their product has been a boon for the state’s besieged mulch suppliers.

“Hey stickybeak, we have no idea how that asbestos ever got into our mulch,” said some guy named Big Vinnie from the Corleone Mulch Company. “There’s certainly no truth to the rumour that we’ve secured the contract to ethically dispose of all the radioactive waste from the AUKUS submarines.”

Big Vinnie then suggested that it wasn’t wise to be asking too many questions about mulch to someone who owns a machine that can turn a solid log into mulch sized pieces and could easily do the same to a pesky reporter.

Peter Green
http://www.twitter.com/Greeny_Peter

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