Dutton’s Increased Popularity Forces Joyce To Ask Where He Stands On The Bonk Ban

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Published by Anonymous (not verified) on Mon, 15/01/2024 - 6:28am in

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News, satire

A rise in the polls for Opposition leader Peter Dutton has forced the country to rethink what it would be like should the member for Dixon were to become Prime Minister.

For his colleague, the former deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce, this means finding our where the potential PM stands on the bonk ban.

”I’ll be honest I never thought Pete had a snowballs chance in hell of becoming PM,” said the member for New England. ‘But, the polls are moving and maybe there’s a chance that we can all get back onboard the gravy train.”

”So, now is when we need to knuckle down and get our policies sorted and there is no more important policy than that of the bonk ban.”

When asked why he was so obsessed with the bonk ban whilst the country was in a cost of living crisis, the former deputy PM said: ”The bonk ban would save some of us a fortune, don’t believe me, then ask Channel 7.”

”The Australian people want their politicians fit, firing and happy, and who isn’t happy after a good old bonk.”

”Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to find a puppy for my meeting with Dutts, I hear he likes to strangle them in order to relax.”

Mark Williamson

@MWChatShow

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