Describing it as minor tweak to Australia’s citizenship requirements, Anthony Albanese says applicants will now need to provide evidence that they have launched a 30kg pole at a mass murderer in order to have their submissions processed.

“It’s a fairly straightforward requirement,” the PM told a press conference today.

“We’re simply asking people to answer some basic questions such as, ‘What is the meaning of ANZAC Day?’ ‘What is on the Commonwealth Coat of Arms?’ and ‘When was the last time you stopped a knife attack with a piece of street furniture?’ I don’t think that is too onerous”.

Opposition Leader Peter Dutton said the change was ridiculous, and suggested the Prime Minister had lost touch with the wants of Australia. He said citizenship should only be granted to people who had stopped knife attacks using a bollard while working as an au pair.

More to come.

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