32 Year Old’s Shocking Schoolies Revelation
32 year-old Sunshine Coast based courier, Jarred Jones, was left shocked and dismayed upon the realisation that he was in fact a toolie.
Mr Jones had been travelling to the Gold Coast based annual drink and drug fest ‘Schoolies’ for the past eight years and had always felt a sense of belonging until this year.
“Look, you know I’m a bit older than most physically but mentally I’m as young as the next guy and it wasn’t ‘til 2 am on Friday night when this young girl who I asked if she was keen for a root told me to ‘bugger off sleaze bag’ that I had the realisation that I was no longer a schoolie but rather, a toolie.”
When pressed by The (un)Australian as to how this made him feel Mr Jones replied, “shit house mate, my days of doing 18 years olds is over.”
When asked what he’ll be doing now for his annual November holiday Mr Jones said he would probably be going on a booze cruise, it had always been a fantasy of his.
Schoolies runs on the Gold Coast until the end of November.
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