I've decided that, rather than whining about things are, I should show how things could be. Therefore, I have started to provide my university with feedback from a parallel universe:

I have to give a shout out to the fantastic classics department at the Coffs campus. Like most people in Coffs, I had a bit of Latin from school - enough for "the rigorous judging exams" - but I feared achieving fluency would be a terrible grind. However the staff were always ready with assistance, encouragement, and tea (plus I made a firm friend in Professor Chronitis' cat, Heironymous!), and 'ere long (veni, vidi, vici!) I knew the joy of reading Cicero in the original. Roll on Ancient Greek!