[Shouting] "Swamp for sale! Swamp for sale!"

"Um… Hello?"

"Hello, yes?"

"This swamp you have for sale."

[Shouting] "Swamp for sale!"

"That's the chap. What kind of swamp is it?"

"What kind of swamp? How many kinds are there? The wet kind. The unpleasant to be in kind. The infested with nasty stinging biting things kind. Swamp for sale!"

"Is it zoned?"

"Is it zoned? Of course it's bleeding zoned! I wouldn't try to sell swamp that isn't zoned. In fact, I would venture to say that you couldn't get swamp that has been more thoroughly and comprehensively zoned. Swamp for sale!"

"What's it zoned for?'

"For? What's it zoned 'for'? It's zoned for mud and reeds and leeches and mosquitoes and rotting carcasses and stolen cars and shopping trolleys and indescribably horrid smells. In short, it's zoned for swamp."

"Well, can I build on it?"

"You can try. I wouldn't advise it. Swamp for sale!"

"What would I do with it, then?"

"Well, obviously you'd sell it. You'd be mad not to. Look, don't worry; it's perfectly simple. Repeat after me: Swamp for sale!"

"Swamp for sale."

"Good, good. A bit louder. More urgency. Swamp for sale!"

"Swamp for sale!"

"Splendid. Now just sign here."

"On this dotted line? Swamp for sale!"

"And again…"

"Swamp for sale!"

"No, I mean sign again down here."

"Oh, sorry. Swamp for sale! I say, there's nothing to it, once you get into the spirit of the thing. Swamp for sale!"

"Glad to have been of service. Best of luck."

"Swamp for sale! I say, where are you going?"

"Oh I'm off. Pleasure doing business with you. Try putting your shoulders back and projecting from the thorax: Swamp for sale!"

"Swamp for sale! I say, that is better. Ta-ra, then. Thanks for the advice. Swamp for sale! What a nice man. Swamp for sale!"