Superb bait and switch there from Gowings, again showing their level of selfless commitment to Coffs, as so frequently lauded in these pages. "We've decided now that this is what we want. Or we could leave you with a big hole in the ground smack in the middle of the CBD. Your choice, suckers."

[UPDATE: A perceptive commentor spotted an estate agent in the comments ("Whilst I do not want to see Coffs Harbour become Surfers Paradise with skyscrapers I do want it to develop to its appropriate potential with tasteful investment such as this.") I decided to save him some work:]

Oh, well spotted! I can see the copy already: "Whether it's sun-drenched beaches just minutes away, or urine-drenched multi-story carparks at your back door, Potted Plant Promontory is truly the investment jewel-in-the-crown for the discerning tax evader and/or money launderer. While in town to sign the paperwork, why don't you or the legal representative of your Panamanian shell company kick back at the club with a lazy afternoon in the company of The Australian Monkees Experience, and the region's most versatile roster of Vegas-era Elvis impersonators - deep-fried marshmallow peanut-butter cheeseburger anyone? Then hit the town before the town hits you, and find out why we're the state's number one Saturday night random cranial injury hotspot."