Whether you choose to do it "tits-high" or "groin-low", folding your arms is nearly as old as Coffs Harbour itself. That's why members of the Coffs-Clarence Local Area Command have chosen to spend January in a sponsored self-embrace to raise awareness of intimate dermatalogical chafing.

"Particularly in these more humid months, many people suffer in silence. Apart from a bit of grunting," says Detective Chief Inspector Ron Vertigo. "The money we raise will be used to purchase anti-perspirants and talcolm powder for the needlessly grimacing in our community, as well as to fund workshops on exo-dermal dehydration which will keep young people from falling into the 'sweat/swagger spiral'."

The concept was the brainchild of CCLAC Community Relations Officer Lucy Embouchure. "So much of our job is 'move them on, lock them up, release them, then move them on, lock them up…' — it never ends. Then suddenly one day when I was feeling quite sticky, I thought 'Here's a way we can broaden our outreach beyond the local indigenous and economically disadvantaged communities and finally make a difference.' The message we are now sending to the wider audience of normal people in our area is that although it's all very nice living in a hot and humid climate, you should treat your pits and nether regions with respect. After all, disgusting as they may be, they're the only bodily recesses you have."

"It felt a bit strange at first," Constable Jarvis Jarvis sheepishly admits from behind a pair of forearms more used to gripping the steering wheel of a paddy wagon than each other, "but it's good to know you're helping local kids develop the skills they'll need in managing the friction caused by excess bodily fat later in life."

You can "like" the "CCLAC Sweat Band" on Facebook, and you can sign up to sponsor a "Coffs Top Slop-Blotting Cop" at any business that bears the secret insignia of the Coffs Coast Key Stakeholders Society.