Hi, I am a very successful social marketing guru who specialises in helping old new media properties retain and grow value in an increasngly competitive post-new media landscape. While I applaud your repeated innovative and intrusive attempts to extract the most value out of your eyeballs, in partnership with the key commercial surveillance providers, I believe that I can help you take that next step across what I call the Internet Commercial Kudos (ICK) threshold.

The problem is that you have a lot of low-value content consumers (or "readers", if you want to get all "steampunk") who aren't in the affluent, vacuous, merch-consuming demographic (or "makers", in your inspired newspeak), and although you're certainly irritating them through advertorial content, outsourcing comments to Discourse, incessant hectoring to leave the open web and join parasitic data silos, you're not quite completely _alienating_ them. This is a problem if you want to provide a high-purity product.

Please don't think I'm being disparaging. You're close. You're very, very close. With the asistance I can provide, I believe we can turn your audience into a much more attractive commodity for the eyeball-consuming market, and their partners in the international intelligence community. When you're ready to take, the next step, just "like" me on Facebook.