A PROFESSOR stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, he picked up a large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

Really bad analogy for Coffs Harbour. The local university campus doesn't do courses in philosophy, or history, or even arts. You can do a degree in hotel management, but you won't see any professors. All the academic staff are casuals.

We are well off as far as golf courses, pebbles, and sand are concerned, so keep working on it. If you can come up with some other scenario where people in Coffs Harbour regularly engage in abstract thought, I think you'll be onto a winner.

Think Vladimir and Estragon sitting in the gutter in a shopping mall carpark:

"Sand, eh?"

"Sand? F* off! Pebbles, eh?"

"F*ing pebbles! Golf balls, eh? Eh, golf balls, eh?"

"Yeah bro. Golf balls, eh."

See? Tailor the message to the audience and you increase the impact while losing nothing of the nuance. Hope that's been helpful.